Gotta catch 'em all, motherfucker.

Evil Pikachu

A new generation in a bad breed of plush toys.

What makes Evil Pikachu evil?

Perhaps it's the razor-sharp 1/2-inch stainless steel claws that can kill with a mere gesture. Perhaps it's the reign of terror he's led across the entire Bay Area, pillaging entire suburbs and cutting foul stinking swaths across the neatly-manicured lawns of Silicon Valley. Perhaps it's that cute fuzzy exterior covering a COLD, CRUEL HEART OF STONE.

You decide.

How can I tell if I have an Evil Pikachu?

Warning: If you aren't sure whether you have an Evil Pikachu, that in itself is cause for alarm. Be sure to take appropriate precautions when handling any Pokémon which may be Innately Evil.

That said, there are several telltale clues. First, check the front of your Pikachu. If your Pikachu's fangs have FRESH HUMAN BLOOD on them, that is a sign that he may have been up to no good recently. (If your Pikachu has fangs at all, that in itself is a sign of abnormality!)

Pet your Pikachu's forepaws, and then look at your hand. If you now have several nasty jagged gashes in it from where the Pikachu's foreclaws ate into your hand, there is a high likelihood that your Pikachu is Evil.

Your Pikachu may push its ears back from time to time, like an angry, frightened dog. While this does not mean your Pikachu is frightened, it is probably angry, and will fight if cornered. Do not taunt an angry Pikachu. It is best to try not to be in the same county as an angry Evil Pikachu.

If you leave your Pikachu alone in an empty room with lots of Aphex Twin and Nine Inch Nails MP3s, and you hear lots of loud music when you're not around, it might be Evil. Evil Pikachu like electronica. Trust me on this one.

What does an Evil Pikachu look like?

While only one Evil Pikachu is currently in captivity, you can get an idea of some of the above traits by looking at these pictures:


From the front, in a characteristic "battle pose". Notable characteristics shown here are its bloody fangs and 1/2" sharpened steel claws, among others.	From the side. (Note that this Evil Pikachu was specially tagged; as you can see in the above picture, his care label has been marked with "EVIL" in all block capitals. Not all Evil Pikachu may exhibit this marking!)

What should I do if my Pikachu is Evil?

Keep Evil Pikachu out of reach of children. "Duh."

Where can I get more information about Pikachu?

Yahoo recommends these sites, and Yahooligans (which probably knows better anyhow) recommends these.
The official word [local copy] from Nintendo on Pikachu can be found in the Pokédex.
In California, you may also be able to get information from your local police department about Evil Pikachu known to the authorities in your area under Penal Code section 290, or possibly at your local Toys-R-Us.
Sluggy Freelance [local copy] has been known to harbor Evil Pikachu.
Pokémon are indeed evil, and it must be the Truth, because the Christian Right Wing says it is so [local copy]. Click the link to read up on God's Word on the subject. (Because you know, He just had to have the last word.)
Believe it or not, Pikachu have even been found among the Dark Lords of the Sith. A rare glance [local copy] of such a fearsome specimen can be had by following the link.
Mastermind of the fearsome incident wherein hundreds of Japanese children saw what was apparently an Evil Pikachu on the television and started seizing, Pikacthulhu [local copy] has been described independently by at least two fearless adventurers. (One apparently even managed to see one in the plush [local copy] , and boy, let me tell ya -- it looks Evil.)
Evil Pikachu has been found in some rather bizarre stories [local copy], and can even (reportedly) portal through space-time in some circumstances.
I can't help but feel that there is something evil about dancing Pikachu [local copy]. But maybe it's just me.
Read The Pokemarillion [local copy] for a history of Evil Pikachu.

What is the equivalent circuit to an Evil Pikachu?

As you probably know, a Pikachu is an electric type of Pokémon. Thus, it would be interesting to know to what extent they can be modeled as a collection of one or more first-order circuit elements. Unfortunately, the data we have collected to date are inconclusive.

Our Mad Science department is hard at work on the answer to this vexing problem, which has potential security implications for the governments of many small countries throughout the Pacific Rim. The chief difficulty they are having is getting a voltmeter and an Evil Pikachu in the same lab at the same time without heavy personnel casualties. When the answer has been determined, links to a schematic and modelling parameters for HSPICE will be posted here, so that the entire scientific community may attempt to devise and study MEMS simulations of Evil Pikachu in the laboratory environment.

Which Pokémon was this, anyway?

"It's the one that says Bad Mother Fucker."

Brian Gaeke <brg at cory.EECS.Berkeley.EDU> likes cabbage. (Shout outs to T. Monroe and G. Rosario for tracking down more cabbage for me.) Last modified: