The Bizarro World of Pokemon

Narr: As our heroes, Ash, Misty, and Brock continue their journey, the day is clear and bright. Unbeknownst to our three travelers, a new adventure awaits them.

Pikachu: Pika pika! (Runs off)

Ash: Pikachu! Where are you going?

(Pikachu runs to a shiny, glowing portal and disappears inside.)

(The three catch up and look around for Pikachu, who is nowhere to be seen.)

Ash: (seeing the portal) What’s that thing?

Misty: I don’t know, Ash. What do you think Brock?

Brock: Well, it looks like some kind of portal…

Ash: A PORTAL! You mean Pikachu’s stuck in another time or place or something?

Misty: Relax Ash. Go on Brock.

Brock: Well, Pikachu could just be in some other reality or something. Of course, it’s just a theory…

Ash: Well, I don’t care! I’m going to get Pikachu! (Runs to portal and goes inside)

Misty: Ash! Wait up! (Brock and Misty run to the portal and disappear inside)

(Commercials)

(They walk through and find themselves in what looks like the same place they were in before.)

Misty: Uh, you guys, is it just me or does this look like the EXACT same place we were in before we stepped into the portal?

Ash: Yeah, Misty, you’re right…. Same dirt road, trees, the only thing different is that the portal is behind us.

Brock: Look, there’s a town up ahead. Maybe we can find information about where we are and where Pikachu is there.

Ash: All right! Let’s go! (Runs off again)

Misty: Ash!

Brock: Hey! Wait up!

(They get to Bizarro town and crash into a couple, Team Rocket. They look at each other in stunned silence for a few seconds, then Ash breaks the silence.)

Ash: Well, aren’t you guys going to say your motto?

Jessie: What do you mean OUR motto? Aren’t you going to say YOUR motto?

Misty: You know, your motto…. Here, we’ll show you…Brock?

Brock: You first, Misty.

Misty: Prepare for trouble.

Brock: Uh, I changed my mind.

Misty: Why?

Brock: I hate James’ lines. He always sounds gay. You do it, Ash.

Ash: What? (reluctantly) Oh, fine. (Suddenly enthusiastic) And make it double.

Misty: To protect the world from devastation.

Ash: To unite all peoples within our nation.

Misty: To denounce of evils of truth and love.

Ash: To extend our reach to the stars above.

Misty: Jessie.

Ash: James.

Misty: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light.

Ash: Surrender now or prepare to fight.

Suddenly, off in the distance,

Pikachu: Pika! Pi!

Ash, Misty, Brock in unison: It’s Pikachu!

Jessie and James, rolling their eyes, sarcastic: Oh no, it’s the evil Pikachu. We’re scared.

Ash: Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?

Brock: Just forget it Ash. We’ll discuss it later.

Misty: Yeah, right now we have to find Pikachu.

Ash (reluctantly): Yeah, I guess you’re right.

(The three friends search around where they heard the noise but could not find Pikachu. Finally, they set up camp and talk about what had happened.)

Misty: Wow! Isn’t it strange how Team Rocket didn’t even know their motto? They must’ve said that thing a million times.

Ash: Yeah, I’m surprised they didn’t attack us.

Misty: Mmhmm. And what was that about "our" motto? We don’t say anything. Hmm…

Ash: Hey, I just remembered the town’s name. Bizarro Town! Like bizarre…

Brock: You know, I’ve heard that some of these portals can lead to universes where people act the opposite of how they normally act.

Ash: Brock! You’re still awake?

Brock: Of course, why did you think I was asleep?

Ash: I can’t tell, you always look like you’re asleep. You really should get those eyes fixed.

Brock: Anyway, all this means is that we have to be even more careful about who we meet, since they won’t be who we think they are.

Misty: So that means your opposite isn’t a girl crazy, practically perverted dork and that Ash’s opposite isn’t an annoying brat?

Ash & Brock: Hey! I resent that remark.

Ash (mumbling to Brock): So does that means Misty’s opposite is a buff trainer who can actually fight and never whines?

Misty: Are you saying I’m scrawny and whiney?

Ash: No… I said exactly the opposite!

Misty: Why you… (hits Ash on the back of his head)

Ash: Ow! What was that for? I didn’t insult you or anything, did I?

Misty: No, you did the opposite! (stomps off)

Ash: Gee, what’s her problem?

Brock: Ash, I was thinking about Team Rocket…. What if their opposites are on our side?

Ash: Maybe we can work together with them and find Pikachu.

Misty: Hey, Ash has it occurred to you that Pikachu could be with your opposite or that there’s an evil double of us out there somewhere?

Ash: Misty! What are you doing here?

Misty: Well, after I had had some time to myself, I figured you didn’t mean those things. Besides, we fight over just about anything.

Ash: Like when I called you scrawny.

Misty: Yeah, and then I beat you up for it.

Brock: ANYWAYS, back to what Misty was saying. There could be an evil double of us and maybe there’s even an…

Ash, Misty, and Brock in unison, remembering Team Rocket’s words: Evil Pikachu!

Ash: That settles it! Tomorrow we’re going to find Team Rocket, our opposites, and Pikachu!

(Who’s that Pokemon?) (Commercials)

(It’s Pikachu! Pikaa-chuuuuuuuu!)

(Team Rocket is in a restaurant eating rice balls on seaweed when Ash and co. burst inside.)

James: You again! What is it this time?

Ash (as Brock shudders): I never thought I’d say this but we need your help, Team Rocket.

Jessie (suspicious): Why should we help you?

Misty: Look, it’s a long story. We’ll explain later but right now we need you to tell us where the Evil Ash and his team are.

James: But aren’t you guys them?

(Brock hits James on the head then runs out, screaming, "Shut up! I hate your lines!")

Ash: No, we aren’t. We came from a portal and stepped into this other reality and…. Please we need your help. Trust us.

Jessie and James look at each other and nod.

Jessie: All right, we’ll help.

Ash (doing his victory pose, a peace sign): All right! I got Team Rocket!

Misty: Uh, Ash, it’s not like Team Rocket is a Pokemon that you captured.

Ash: Oh, right. Well, first, we should find Brock…

James: Oh, I’ll do that.

Misty: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

(James looks confused.)

Later, after finding Brock and making James promise not to say anything else for the rest of the story, our heroes and Team Rocket set out to find Evil Ash and the good Pikachu, while Ash and Misty explain their situation. Brock is too busy staring at James and getting ready to bolt at any word out of James’ mouth to say anything.

Jessie: So, let me get this straight. You three are from an alternate universe where the people there are the opposite from how they are here?

Ash: That’s right. That means WE are good in our world but are bad here. And you two are good here but bad in our world.

Jessie: Oh…. So… Shoot I almost got that. Anyway, is that why you got ready to attack us earlier?

Misty: Yeah.

(James opened his mouth to say something but glanced at Brock’s fist and quickly shut his mouth.)

Jessie: What do you want to say, James?

(James whispered into Jessie’s ear, then she nodded and turned to Ash.)

Jessie: James wants to know if you think you can really beat Evil Ash.

Ash: Hmm. Well, it’ll be a hard fight but with you and James on our side, we have something they don’t.

Jessie: Well, we’re with you to the end.

Ash: So where do we start looking?

Misty: Come on Ash, don’t you even know where YOU would be?

Ash: Well…maybe our Pokemon can help.

Misty: Okay, then. Go Starmie!

(Psyduck appears by himself, holding his head due to his massive migraine headache… "Psyduck, Psyduck, Psyduck….")

Misty: Psyduck! You’re not Starmie! (then hits Psyduck)

Brock: Oh forget it! Let’s just look for ourselves!

Psyduck: Psyayay.

(Psyduck starts running back and forth in a panic)

Misty: Psyduck return! (throws ball at Psyduck, which bounces off his head; Psyduck then runs off into the forest)

Misty: Oh well, good riddance anyway. Let’s go!

(The group begins to walk to the next town in search of their evil counterparts.

By sundown, Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, and James have reached Evil Ash’s hideout, his house in Tellap Town. Ash smacks his head.

Ash: I should have known my hometown would be called Tellap Town!

Misty: Doi.

Ash: Shut up, Misty.

Misty: You shut up.

Brock: Now, now you two, don’t start. We don’t want to delay the Big Fight anymore, do we?

Ash and Misty look at each other, as if saying, "Something’s wrong with Brock, as if he had different script writers." But they declare a temporary truce and go inside Evil Ash’s house.

They see three figures in the shadows when suddenly someone speaks.

A voice: Prepare for trouble.

Misty: Gasp! That’s MY voice!

Another voice: And make it triple.

Ash: Gasp! No!

Third voice: To protect the world from devastation.

Brock: Gasp! It can’t be!

(The three figures step out of the shadows, revealing them to be the Evil Misty, Ash, and Brock. They continue their motto.)

Evil Misty: To unite all peoples within our nation.

Evil Ash: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Evil Brock: To extend our reach to the stars above.

Evil Misty: Misty!

Evil Ash: Ash!

Evil Brock: Brock!

Evil Misty: Team Ash, blast off at the speed of light.

Evil Ash: Surrender now or prepare to fight.

Evil Brock: That’s right!

Ash: We challenge you to a Pokemon battle. One Pokemon for each person.

Evil Ash: We accept.

Evil Brock: All right, then. Geodude! Go!

(Geodude pops out of the Pokeball Evil Brock threw.)

Geodude: Geodude!

Misty: Go, Starmie!

(Starmie pops out of Misty’s Pokeball.)

Starmie: Starmie!

Evil Misty: Go, Staryu! (Staryu appears out of Evil Misty’s Pokeball.)

Staryu: Staryu!

Brock: Go, Onix!

(Onix comes out of Brock’s Pokeball.)

Onix: Onix!

Evil Ash: Squirtle, I choose you!

Squirtle: Squirtle! Squirtle!

Ash (after flipping his official Pokemon League cap backwards): Bulbasaur, I choose you!

Bulbasaur: BulbaSAUR!

Ash: Bulbasaur! Razor Leaf Attack now!

Bulbasaur: Bulba. (Sends leaves out to Squirtle, cutting him.)

Evil Ash: Squirtle! Water gun attack now!

Squirtle: Squirtle! (Shoots a powerful stream of water from his mouth, but Bulbasaur dodges it.)

Misty: Starmie, Water gun attack!

(Starmie shoots water at Evil Brock’s Geodude. Geodude faints.)

Brock: Onix! Rock throw! (Onix sends a shower of rocks on Evil Misty’s Staryu, crushing it and knocking it unconscious.)

Evil Misty: Staryu return! (She returns Staryu to her Pokeball.)

Ash: Bulbasaur! Vine whip! (Bulbasaur sends out two vines and whips Squirtle.)

Evil Ash: Water gun attack, Squirtle!

(Squirtle again sends a strong stream of water at Bulbasaur and this time Bulbasaur didn’t dodge fast enough and was blown away.)

Jessie: Arbok! Go!

James: Weezing! (Luckily, Brock was too engrossed in his own battle with the Evil Misty to hear.)

Jessie: Poison sting attack, Arbok!

James: Weezing! Sludge attack!

(Poison stingers and thick, brown sludge hit Squirtle, the latter blinding him and giving Ash just enough time to finish off Squirtle.)

Ash: Bulbasaur! Leech seed now! (Bulbasaur sends a seed out to Squirtle, which sprouts and wraps vines around him.

Ash: All right! Now let’s get Pikachu! (But before they can, Evil Ash’s Squirtle suddenly untangles himself from the vines and Evil Ash gives an attack order.)

Evil Ash: Scratch attack now! (Squirtle scratches Bulbasaur.)

(Suddenly, Ash and his friends hear something.)

Psyduck: Psyduck, Psyduck, Psyduck.)

Misty: Oh no!

(Psyduck appears, obviously in a panic, running back and forth in the house. Then, Misty calls out to it.)

Misty: Psyduck, use Confusion NOW!

(Psyduck obeys and starts flinging Squirtle from side to side with his psychic powers, causing Squirtle to faint.)

Misty: Psyduck, return! (She brings out a Pokeball and zaps Psyduck into it.)

(Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James then run around, calling out Pikachu’s name. Suddenly, Ash hears something.)

Pikachu: Pika! Pi! (Everyone rushes upstairs and sees two identical Pikachus tied up with rope in a corner. Evil Ash and his team run up behind them and laugh evilly.)

Evil Ash: Hahahaha! Make your choice, Ash!

Misty: Oh no, Ash! How are you going to choose?

Ash: I-I don’t know, Misty.

Brock: Maybe you should give them some sort of test, Ash.

Ash: Good idea, Brock.

Misty: Give them more than one test to make sure it’s the good Pikachu.

Ash: Okay. What do you guys suggest?

Brock: Since Pikachu loves ketchup, give each a bottle and see which one goes crazy over it.

Ash: It’s worth a try. (They perform the test, but each Pikachu loves the ketchup.)

Ash: Now what?

Misty: Have them sing the song the wild Pikachu were singing in the forest. Remember Ash?

Ash: All right. (Both Pikachus know the song, however, and get it right.)

Ash: Okay. It’s time for my test now. (kneels down in front of the first Pikachu on the left and quietly whispers something. Then does the same to the other Pikachu. Both Pikachus reply, then Ash picks up the one on the left, which climbs onto his shoulder.)

Ash: C’mon guys, let’s go. (Begins to walk out of the house, Brock and Misty following, along with Team Rocket.)

Misty: But Ash, how do you know you have the right Pikachu?

Ash: Easy. I just asked both Pikachus if they loved me. Both said yes, but I could tell.

Brock: How did you know?

Ash: Their eyes. I looked into their eyes and I knew this was my Pikachu.

Misty (sniffling): How wonderful. (The threesome reaches the portal and say goodbye to Team Rocket. Jessie cries farewell but James only waves as Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu step into the portal.)

Narr: Ash and his friends continue their journey to reach their goal, all of them glad to be home.