If you live in any city or busy town, you probably get jacked quite often
for an expired meter. In my city those parking enforcement bastards are writing
you up seconds after the meter expires. And how about all the money in quarters
you dish out? I bet if you added it all up you could feed a small country....those
bastards are taking the food out of poor babies mouths!
Well, here is a handy way to never have to pay the parking meter and park
scott-free for hours. You will get really good at this and you will never
put another quarter in the meter again...(except of course when your mother
is with you)
Let me first say that this does NOT work in the brand new meters that are digital. (I'm working on that)
1) park your car in front of the meter
2) while in your car, find a business card or a matchbook or any semi-thick paper. (if it's abusiness card
3)If you have a business card: tear 1 inch off of the end and 1/2 inch
off of the bottom (you should have a rectangular piece of card measuring
about 2-1/2 x 1-1/2 now) if you have a matchbook: open it up and tear off
the cover ane half of the back (that should leave you with a 1-1/2" x 2-1/2"
rectangle as well) Any piece of semi-thick paper can be torn into these dimentions.
(the envelope from a parking ticket works well too!)
4) Fold the paper in half lenghth-wise and then fold it in half length-wise
again. You will now have a pretty thick peice of card now measuring about
2-1/2 inches by 1/4 inch.
5) walk up to the meter (don't get nervous nobody pays any attention to
someone putting change in their meter, silly) and insert the folded card
into the quarter slot until the paper stops. It''s best that the card is
thick and takes a little effort going into the slot. As soon as the card
is about half-way in the slot, turn the crank on the meter all the way (this
will take a little effort). Turning the crank will pull the card into the
slot further. Turn the crank all the way until the yellow "violation" sign
appears at the top and sticks. Do not try and turn the crank back in the
other direction as this may kick up the red sign (ticket). The point is to
jam the meter into it's "broken" position which is the yellow "voilation"
sign. When the violation sign is up THEY CANNOT TICKET YOU. You can stay
there indefinantely if they don't chalk you...If they chalk you (and this
is VERY rare) you get about 2 hours (depending on the meter zone ie: 2 hour
max etc.)
6) Tear off any ends of card that may still be protruding from the quarter
slot. (if you're really socially concious you can leave it sticking out,
then when you return you can pull out the entire card and the meter will
be as good as new....but I wouldn't reccomend this as sometimes the metermaid
will pull it out herself and then another one will come by later an give
you a ticket)
7) test the crank and make sure it's jammed well...If you done it right
the crank will be so jammed that you can't even turn it back)
8) go on your merry way and rejoice in the knowlege that you saved another dollar toward the starving children's fund.
Remember: when the yellow "violation" sign is up on the meter you are fine.
This just means that the meter is broken and you have immunity from tickets
when you're at a broken meter. After a while you will do this without even
thinking about it. Remenber to keep plenty of cards or matches in your car.
Note: just in case the metermaids try to crack down on this meter-terrorism,
don't have your goddam name on the cards or papers you're inserting into
the meter.
Again, once you get the hang of it this system is flawless. And I really
don't think the metermaids care that much either since they can easily pull
the paper out when they open up the meter to collect the change.
-----
If you live in a big city that has a "Chinatown", then another great way
to cheat the meter is to purchase a roll of chinese candy called "HAW FLAKES"
at any chinese 5 and dime store.
Haw Flakes come in small rolls of twenty and cost about a nickel a roll.
Haw Flakes WORK IN THE METERS AS QUARTERS (not the digital meters). You put
in one Haw flake and GENTLY turn the crank. Sometimes they break, so just
try again. They do work. Haw Flakes are mighty yummy too..but remember thier
great value as money before you scarf all your quarters down. You Chinese
folks out there no what the hell I'm talking about don't cha......
No worries though as the card jamming method above works very well.
